My first semester of college was everything I was not expecting.
I decided to go to school in a different state, and I was scared. I was scared to move over 3 hours away from everyone I know and everything familiar to me. I went to the same school from Pre-K till I graduated, and I had never been in a situation where I would be without anyone I knew. I was also beyond nervous to move in with a girl I met over INSTAGRAM!!!! I was excited for rush week, but also so so so anxious. I wanted to find my place and a week filled with small talk, a ton of strangers and more emotional girls than I had ever seen in my life made it stressful, to say the least. Despite the bizarre situation, I found my home, and the friendships I have made I know will last a lifetime.
These girls have laughed with me, held me when I cried, and been the most amazing comforts in this crazy semester, starting with the very first week.
Before I moved, my mom and I each had one thing we said we didn’t want to happen. I told her I knew I would be fine If I didn’t have to deal with a breakup first semester, and she said she would be fine if I didn’t get seriously sick. God is so quick to remind us of his sovereignty and did so by allowing both of these things to happen.
My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me over the phone on the second day of school, and 2 days later I was diagnosed with the flu. Quite frankly, it sucked.
I felt utterly alone. I had never had to fully take care of myself when I was sick before, let alone when I had the flu. I had also just lost my best friend, and the person I thought I needed the most.
I survived that first week by the grace of God. My sweet roommate loved me. Kathryn was so patient as I cried and told her “love is a lie.” But she proved me wrong. Love, in fact, is not a lie. Love is Jesus Christ. God showed me, in what felt like the hardest way, the perfection of His love.
My sweet mom answered my every phone call and encouraged me when I felt so low. She reminded me that God had a plan, even though we couldn’t see it.
My best friend Kylie raged with me over facetime and loved me, even though she was 3 hours away.
Needless to say, in the first week of college, I learned so much.
As I healed, God provided the sweetest friends: precious Gabi who just gets me in every possible way, Jeanne-Marie who is a ray of light and God’s love into my life, and Kyra who always makes me laugh. These girls and SO many others showed me the unfailing love of Christ.
But God was not done with his lessons for this semester.
In October, I got the worst type of phone call. My Papaw had passed away. While I knew he was no longer suffering, I still could not help but be heartbroken. Grieving the loss of someone who was so special to me, without my family, was heart-wrenching. All I wanted to do was be able to hug my mom, and I couldn’t.
Again, God provided sweet friends who hugged me, saw my sadness and loved me through it. They held me when I cried and then gave me countless reasons to be joyful.
God reminded me that He can provide joy in the darkest moments.
This semester has changed me and it has grown me. I have learned so much about myself, and even more about the love of our Creator. God took me far away from my comfort zone so that He could teach me to rely on him.
I learned the importance of faith when it’s hard. My whole life I had never been placed in a moment where my faith “mattered”. Never had I been tested to a point where I had to rely on God to make it through. I know for a fact that everything that happened in this semester was all a part of God’s plan. God has been so gracious to show me all the ways He worked in my life the past 5 months and looking back on it all I am so thankful everything happened the way it did.
In those moments where I felt like life wouldn’t let up, I learned reliance on my Savior.
I would have never picked for these events to take place in the way they did (or even at all), but God did. He knew the struggles I would face this semester before I was born, and He provided a way out: JESUS CHRIST!!!!
I wanted to share my story as an encouragement to anyone who is struggling. To anyone who is doubting God’s plan or not seeing an end to any heartache. I can promise you that God will carry you through. I learned first hand I am not strong enough to carry myself when life gets hard, even though I like to think I am. When my life started crashing down around me, the one thing that remained constant was the love of God.
While I would never wish to repeat this season of testing, I praise God for it. Without it, I would never have experienced the manifestations of my loving heavenly Father that appeared in all the people he placed in my life.
TAKE HEART!! God does not allow us to be broken or pushed beyond what we can handle. He will always give you the strength, joy, peace, and comfort you need.
Romans 15:13 “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Bethany Jayne 